In this podcast, I’ll be introducing you to some wonderful conversationalists, with great ideas and powerful insights.
It’s a joy to Connect with Julie Woods, aka That Blind Woman, to discuss the idea of Adapting to Extraordinary Change – the theme of her first book, “How to Make a Silver Lining”.
Julie will share her 8 keys with us, sprinkled with her signature sense of humour and genuine care for people. We’re keeping these episodes short so you can listen anytime and take action on your insights, rather than wait for those big chunks of time that we tend to put off.
Listen below, on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or find more platforms here.
The following is a transcription of my chat with Julie Woods.
Kerrie Phipps 0:00
Hi, Kerrie Phipps here, talking about connecting with confidence with a number of amazing, incredible people. And I’m just wanting to do this podcast to introduce you to a world of people to encourage and inspire. And I want to do one of those podcasts that is just a conversation that’s not all edited and perfected. I think now is a time for just showing up being ourselves and giving our best and I am super excited to be beginning this journey with the very incredible inspiring, wonderful Julie Woods from New Zealand. Julie Woods is known as That Blind Woman or That Blind woman dot NZ? Is that correct? Julie?
Julie Woods 0:46
Kiora Kerrie. Yeah, that’s thatblindwoman.co.nz
Kerrie Phipps 0:52
.co.nz.co. Thank you. Julie, I mentioned you to so many people in my travels. And you know, it’s hilarious one day when I got talking about you on a train in Sydney, and a lady popped her head in from down the downstairs carriage and said, Julie Woods is my cousin! So you’re not only famous in New Zealand, but Australia too. But I know that in your travels, you have connected with people all over the world. You’ve done some incredible things since we first connected was it 2007, 2008?
Julie Woods 1:24
Yes.
Kerrie Phipps 1:26
Yes. And then tell us a little of your journey.
Julie Woods 1:32
Well, I guess it’s interesting when you say that, you know, we there’s a story begin and I guess mine really begins on the 27th of March 1997 when I was sitting in the waiting room here at Geneva public hospital, and about to be declared legally blind. So that was the day my life changed Kerrie and I’ve married that time with two boys aged three and one. And I just, you know, as you can imagine, felt very overwhelmed and powerless and had no idea of how I was going to cope. So I lost most of my sight through inflammation of the retina. And all I could see was moving shapes and high contrast in shadows. And I had to set about to do things in different ways. And that set me on this pathway that we’re going to talk about in terms of adapting to extraordinary change because I felt I was an ordinary person who found myself in extraordinary circumstances and what was I going to do to get out of those extraordinary circumstances and live my life as a mother, a sister, a daughter and a friend?
Kerrie Phipps 2:51
Yeah, and I know from reading, “How To Make A Silver Lining” back in the draft form and laughing and laughing as I was reading on the train, and this draft… we will get to one of those stories. But your ability to adapt and the decisions you’ve made have been really quite profound. And it’s so important now, when so many of us are facing extraordinary change is and really needing to build those adaptive muscles.
Julie Woods 3:23
There is a muscle, you’re right.
Kerrie Phipps 3:26
Through that book that you’ve created, and you know, so that’s been out for over 10 years, and I’ve shared it with so many people. You have a new book coming out very, very soon as in the next couple of days, I believe, but um, do you want to walk us through your, your key steps and we’ll do this over maybe six or eight short podcasts? I think so we can make this digestible. So number one, Julie, where do we start?
Julie Woods 3:56
Well, we start really, you know, If I can take you back to the hospital waiting room sitting there next to my mother, you know, imagining how I was going to cope, the how I was going to cope was really about key number one, which was asking for help. So I knew that I needed help. I didn’t, I didn’t know what it looked like, but I knew to be the person I wanted to be, I was going to have to ask for help. And here in New Zealand, the place to ask for help, then was called the Foundation for the Blind. And of course, that blind word was a big barrier for me to get over. And to accept that I was blind and that I needed help. There are big things before I could even really get off the couch and start doing things in different ways. So I had to knock on the door of an organization with the word blind in it, and that was a huge step. And that was the best step that I took. Because once I went on through that door, I was surrounded by people who wanted to support me and being the best person that I could be the best blind person, and also other blind people. And we’ll talk about that in key number two. But first asking for help meant that I was able to, learn the skills that I needed and get the training that I needed to be able to do things like pour a cup of tea and butter, a piece of bread and put jam on it. So that was very simple to start with. It really started in the kitchen because as you can imagine, the boys were three and one they needed to eat I needed to cook so life was that simple. Then just getting back in and getting my power back and doing things in different ways.
Kerrie Phipps 5:47
Yeah, yeah. So it’s I’m hearing is that acceptance to like the accepting that you’re in this position of needing to ask for the help? We’re not good at asking for help, are we?
Julie Woods 5:57
No, we think that we’re… Reggie White the American football great said “You’re never too big to ask for help.”
Julie Woods 6:06
And I think that I like that because it’s simple. And here we think we should be growing up and that we don’t, should no longer need to ask for help. We should be independent and be able to do things on our own. So yeah, it’s really I guess it’s about pride and ego, and parking those and saying, actually, I do need help. Yeah, this is a big part.
Kerrie Phipps 6:29
It is and then I wonder, what does it feel like when you ask someone for help? And maybe they’re not in a position to help or, you know, some of the things that people worry about is, you know, getting a no whatever the question is, we often don’t ask questions, because we are afraid what the answer might be. So did you have those instances where you didn’t get the help that you wanted initially?
Julie Woods 6:52
Well, yes. And it’s called government agencies. Okay. So I asked for help at a government agency and they do a rigorous needs assessment and then came back and said, no, sorry, but your husband earns too much. So, yes, that does happen and that there’s a real danger that you really do just want to go underneath the parapet and not stick your head out again. And so it’s really important to choose carefully who you ask for help.
Kerrie Phipps 7:20
Yes.
Julie Woods 7:21
And often that will be you know, it might surprise you to come from a total stranger, or it’ll come from a neighbor, or someone else down the road. So, it’s important to practice asking for help and just to realise that if it is a no, it’s not no because of you it’s know, because of them and not to take it personally. But think about who you’re asking and I think that’s when your instincts come and Kerrie, you kind of have a good idea. I know that if I got stuck, I know that I could ask you for help.
Kerrie Phipps 7:58
Yeah.
Julie Woods 7:59
I think we instincts around the people that we choose and who we ask. So that’s really important.
Kerrie Phipps 8:06
Absolutely. And I think sometimes it’s, it’s about having a backup question too, isn’t it? If people say, Oh, I don’t know, I wouldn’t know. You know, we can ask, Do you know who might? or… Yeah, maybe another question?
Julie Woods 8:22
Yeah, that’s right. One really good thing to do is you can write a list of people who you could ask for help. And that’s quite a good exercise, because often they don’t come to you straight away. But when you sit down with a pen and paper or in front of your, word doc. different people and names can pop into your head that you might not otherwise think of. So that can be a great exercise.
Kerrie Phipps 8:46
Absolutely. And Julian mentioned that, you know, even sometimes it was total strangers. So can you think of a time do you have a story that you’d like to share, where you asked a total stranger for help?
Julie Woods 8:59
So let’s think about it… I’m struggling Kerrie only because there’s probably so many of them I just just writing a diary the other day, I was in a toilet and let me guess I think it was Italy somewhere and people will come up to you and this young lady came up and she just took my hand. Oh, and she guided me because Ron’s always reluctant to go into the woman’s toilets when we travel. This lady just came up and grabbed my hand gently and then took me to the toilet, waited for me, waited outside till I came out, then guided me to the basin washed my hands and then guided me out the door again.
Kerrie Phipps 9:41
Oh, that’s beautiful.
Julie Woods 9:42
I mean, that was just like… I didn’t even ask!
Kerrie Phipps 9:46
Yeah, that’s precious. Just those little moments. And you know, she’s probably forgotten about that by now. But you remember.
Julie Woods 9:55
Yeah, that’s right. And I think when you open yourself and you’re vulnerable. People actually really do move towards you. And that’s a real example of that.
Kerrie Phipps 10:07
Yeah, that’s beautiful. Do you have you found that it has become easier to ask for help?
Julie Woods 10:12
Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Yes, I say, now that it’s important to identify my need, and then I’ll ask for help. And I’ll often say to people, I’m fine. I will ask for help if I need it. That puts them at ease, so they don’t have to think they need to be jumping in all the time. And my husband, I say that too. I will ask for help if I need it. And if he knows that, then he can relax and life’s a whole lot easier. So it’s good for the other people to know that too, if you verbalise it.
Kerrie Phipps 10:47
Yeah. Yes, I’m hearing awareness and acceptance is part of asking for help.
Julie Woods 10:55
Yeah.
Kerrie Phipps 10:56
And being adaptive asking different questions and raising awareness for other people to have what’s needed or what’s not needed because you are very independent and you can do so many things.
Julie Woods 11:08
Well, that’s what I do. That’s right. And that’s what I wrote in the book asking for help is not an act of dependence as the key to independence.
Kerrie Phipps 11:18
That’s beautiful. Julie, I think we’ll pause right here and move to podcast number two, about finding peer support. Is there anything that you want to add anything else you want to say to wrap up on asking for help?
Julie Woods 11:31
Just that it’s a great thing to do.
Kerrie Phipps 11:34
Absolutely.
Julie Woods 11:36
Do it! Do it everybody, do it!
Kerrie Phipps 11:39
Thank you so much Julie and I can’t wait for the next podcast with a story that just had me in stitches.
Julie Woods 11:48
Thanks, Kerrie.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
