Learning to laugh at yourself is liberating – and today we laugh together as we consider a few embarrassing situations with the lens of humour. As I’ve said in the context of Talking To Strangers – #BeOkWithAwkward – on the other side of an awkward or embarrassing moment can be a great connection. If you’ve ever felt awkward or embarrassed – this conversation could take some pressure off, give you a refreshing giggle – and build your confidence!
Listen below, on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or find more platforms here.
Kerrie Phipps 0:00
Kerrie Phipps here, Connecting With Confidence again, this time with Julie Woods as we continue this beautiful series about Adapting to Extraordinary Change. Julie, welcome back.
Julie Woods 0:11
Thank you, Kerrie. I’m back.
Kerrie Phipps 0:14
As you know, I’m very excited. I’m laughing already about today’s episode, because we’re talking about being able to laugh at yourself. And this is just such an incredible lesson. And I might even share a story myself at the end. But yeah, I want to hear your stories. What have you been learning about learning to laugh at yourself?
Julie Woods 0:35
I think that was one of the first things I noticed about blind people. When I went blind, that, they were happy.
Kerrie Phipps 0:43
Yeah.
Julie Woods 0:44
And they laughed a lot. And I was quite surprised about that. I didn’t expect to find happy blind people. I thought blind people were going to be stuck on the couch and sitting in the dark and, and that was my preconception about blindness and not their reality at all. I noticed very quickly that they were very good at laughing at themselves. Because when you are blind it’s really easy to do dumb things. If you don’t laugh at yourself, it’s going to be a long, slow uncomfortable life. And you know you can do, I think probably the first mistake I made was sitting on someone in a waiting room in the hospital which is quite easy, especially if they’re wearing the same colour as the chair. Note to self.
Kerrie Phipps 1:38
(Laughter.)
Julie Woods 1:40
So that could be really, really uncomfortable and embarrassing, but if you can have a bit of a laugh about it with the person and I often say Oh, it’s a great way of meeting friends. Of course people go, what’s this person doing sitting? You know about to sit On Me, and that’s one of the important reasons that I take my white cane with me, everybody, everywhere so that people know that I am blind or that I have a vision impairment because I’m now totally blind. I remember going up the main street of town once with my white cane and I went to push the audible signal at the traffic lights.
Kerrie Phipps 2:21
Oh, yeah.
Julie Woods 2:22
Except I didn’t realise there was a man in between me and the button. Set pushed with the push the button. And there he was. There was his back. I went. “Oh, sorry.” And he went, “oh, sorry about that.” And he turned around and went “Anytime.” I’m going red as I’m telling the story, Kerrie. It’s just so easy to get yourself into those situations and it’s really important to be able to laugh at yourself at those times.
Kerrie Phipps 2:54
Julie, I have tears rolling down my face right now. Poking someone in the back. Thankfully, it’s probably the best place to poke someone if you’re going to do that. Like you’re pushing a button so, love the visual there and and sitting on someone. So note to self do not wear the same color as the chairs.
Julie Woods 3:14
That’s right. If you go to a low vision conference or if you go to speak to a group of blind or people with low vision, that’s right. Make sure you’re we’re something high contrast. stripes are always good.
Kerrie Phipps 3:28
Yeah. And so the, the white cane might might spare the, the sighted people from being sat on.
Julie Woods 3:39
Thats right.
Kerrie Phipps 3:39
You’d feel their feet as you get to them.
Julie Woods 3:41
It gives them a bit of a warning.
Kerrie Phipps 3:46
So we thought it was giving you a warning, but it’s actually warning other people as well.
Julie Woods 3:49
Yeah, exactly.
Kerrie Phipps 3:50
I guess. Yeah, it works both ways. Now I’ve completely lost the question I was going to ask. Where are we? So? Yes, I learning to laugh at yourself. And you said it diffuses the situation. And so I think, you know, those moments could be so uncomfortable like for that, for the man who you prodded in the back as someone that you’re about to sit on. So, yeah, what impact have you noticed on other people because even though you might not see the expression on their face, you would hear their response to you?
Julie Woods 4:24
I think it’s, it’s interesting because people feel slightly cautious about well, very cautious about doing the wrong thing. They don’t want to be politically incorrect. So I find that when I react like that, it gives them permission to laugh and to relax as well.
Kerrie Phipps 4:47
Yeah.
Julie Woods 4:48
Because I know that they are going to be most comfortable. If they can laugh and relax. I think the one thing is that it’s okay for me to laugh at myself. But if someone else takes the mickey and makes a joke about your blindness, it doesn’t always work. So let the person the blind person or the person, of difference, take the lead on that. And I think that’s one piece of advice I would give.
Kerrie Phipps 5:19
Oh, absolutely. Yeah, because I think, you know, sighted people also can very much learn from this, which is why we’re talking about it because we need to be able to laugh at ourselves. But no one likes being laughed at.
Julie Woods 5:33
No, they don’t.
Kerrie Phipps 5:34
If I’m laughing at myself, then you can laugh with me.
Julie Woods 5:37
That’s right. Yeah, that’s right. So it’s the difference between laughing with me and laughing at me.
Kerrie Phipps 5:43
Yeah, absolutely.
Julie Woods 5:48
So just, I don’t know, it’s just really getting used to embarrassment. I think there’s probably something that we’re not that good at. I think they are asked and feel awkward. Some people I don’t know whether you notice carry aren’t very good when they’re on the back foot.
Kerrie Phipps 6:09
Yeah.
Julie Woods 6:11
And they come out kind of fighting. And it can be quite aggressive and so I think it’s really if you do want to make a change to the way you react to things. Think about just ask yourself how, how do I react to situations when I’ve done something really embarrassing?
Kerrie Phipps 6:32
Yeah, you know, when we go back to the beginning of this conversation you talked about feeling dumb or doing something dumb. And, you know, that’s like a judgment that we put on ourselves. You know, we’ll say we’ll say that something you know, was dumb. But really it’s not, it’s completely understandable that you could sit on someone if you know there’s a row of chairs there and you don’t see the person well, so it’s not a dumb thing to do at all. It’s you know, can be embarrassing for sure. But the expectations that we have on ourselves, I think are what cause us to be so anxious and stressed and, you know, take ourselves too seriously. So when we can give ourselves the grace that we would give somebody else, then you know, then we’re free.
Julie Woods 7:19
That’s right. That’s That’s exactly right. One of the things that’s given me a lot of grace is getting dressed up into my Christmas pudding outfit. And walking down the main street and giving out Christmas putting truffles or writing people’s names in Braille at Christmas time.
Kerrie Phipps 7:40
That’s so lovely.
Julie Woods 7:41
Because I find that really it gives people permission to have a laugh and it takes them away from themselves as well. It’s a bit like Santa.
Kerrie Phipps 7:53
Yeah.
Julie Woods 7:54
You know, when we see Santa we go into this role. Don’t we? Oh, Santa! Oh, I’m going to ask For the new iPhone XR or, and we’re kind of like back to being a child again. So it’s about tapping into that inner child, for yourself, or for allowing other people to do that as well. And if you can be relaxed, and as I say, I’ve found dressing up a really good way of doing that. I just instantly puts people at ease and they can have a laugh. It’s cool.
Kerrie Phipps 8:28
Yeah. So I’m just wondering what else – when you just think back through the memory banks – what else have you done or experienced that’s just had you in stitches?
Julie Woods 8:38
I think one of the times when I went out for lunch with one of my colleagues, Dawn, and we went out for lunch in the middle of our city here, Dunedin, and it’s a place called The Octagon. And there’s parking there and Dawn drove me into town and we went to park on a mobility park with people with disabilities can park.
Kerrie Phipps 9:02
Yeah.
Julie Woods 9:03
And she went to pull into the carpark, she was driving, of course, and pulled into the car park and then had to reverse back to settle into the park. You know, her position wasn’t good. So she backed back and she backed onto the footpath. And then she went forward and then she nearly tapped, you know, she kind of went out and then she had to come to to have about six goes at it. And she glanced to her right. And she said to me, “Julie,” she said “there are 2 men over there laughing at me.” And I thought I’m not surprised. And I said, I know, we’ll get them. So I handed in my white cane. And she opened the driver’s door and unfolded the cane and tap-tapped her way around to the footpath, while I got out of the passangers door and made my way to the footpath. Apparently they looked over and their faces like wow, just their jaws dropped apparently. So sometimes it’s just really fun to have a bit of a Joke.
Kerrie Phipps 10:13
So cheeky. Yeah, you can just imagine that really messing with their heads like how does she get all the way to town without…
Julie Woods 10:22
Ha ha, “woman driver?” Yeah, get you back!
Kerrie Phipps 10:30
That’s great. I can imagine, you know, like when you’re trying to park and or you’re trying to do something and you’re just not getting it right and so either you can get frustrated with yourself, which makes it harder to get it right – or you can end up in stitches which also makes it harder to get it right. You know, it can be hard to stay calm. So, the poor woman, but this reminds me of when I was going through a checkout with a friend of mine who’s deaf and she was teaching me sign language and she had some hearing, she had a hearing aid and she could, you know, hear in a quiet space, she could hear something. But she, she said, We’re going shopping, and I won’t be able to hear you and I’m just gonna make you sign. So it was, you know, to improve my sign language. And so as we go through the checkout, and she’s signing to me and I’m not allowed to say anything, then the checkout, the girl there at the checkout says to her, she started chatting with her. And just completely ignored me because she just assumed that I was the deaf person, because my friend had been talking and, and signing to me and I was signing back. And it just really hit me how it is to be ignored – and happened a few times because, you know, I was hanging out with a number of deaf people. And yeah, just how people would make assumptions that I was the deaf person and then I was treated like deaf people often are. Yeah, it was – so it’s made me more conscious of how we include people who, you know, and this is a little off topic with, you know, laughing at yourself. But, you know, they taught me also about laughing at yourself, you know, we don’t have to get it right. And it doesn’t matter how other people are judging. Because we’re doing whatever we’re doing, you know, and your your friend was just doing her parking and you know, getting judged. That was a great, a great solution, Julie, just to refer to last episode.
Julie Woods 12:28
Exactly. So, yeah, I found out very early on Kerrie that no one wanted to be around a grumpy blind person. So I worked very hard at making other people feel comfortable about my blindness. And the way I could do that was with humor.
Kerrie Phipps 12:46
Yeah, that’s beautiful. It’s not just that people don’t want to be around a grumpy blind person. We just don’t really want to be around grumpy people full stop do we?
Julie Woods 12:53
Exactly. So another reminder to all of us blind or not. How much more fun it is to be around people who are at ease with themselves and are able to laugh at themselves?
Kerrie Phipps 13:06
Yeah. And you shared with me a beautiful quote about taking ourselves more lightly. Do you want to share that?
Julie Woods 13:13
G.K. Chesterton, who said, angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.
Kerrie Phipps 13:21
That’s beautiful. Well, you’re an angel in my world, Julie, and I’m so happy. So happy to be sharing these conversations with you. Is there anything else that you’d like to add or any other, you know, final funny memories that you’d like to throw in before we wrap up today?
Julie Woods 13:38
Well, I could tell you when I was interviewed by That’s Life magazine.
Kerrie Phipps 13:44
Yeah.
Julie Woods 13:44
Which is an Australian publication, I think. And they interviewed me and I went along to my local sports theory to get a copy. And the guy behind the counter said, “I’m sorry?” And he said, I said, “Do you have any copies of this Life magazine?” And he said, “Yes, we do.” And he gave it to me. And I said, “I don’t have any money.” And he said, “Don’t worry, take it and bring me the money later.” And I took it back to my office. And I thought it’s quite fat, for $2.75 is what he told me how much it was. And yeah, I sit down at my desk and I waited for my admin support to come back from lunch and I, she called out to me, she said, “Julie, I’ve got a copy of That Life magazine.” And I held up my magazine as well. And I said, “so have I.” She paused and she said, Julie, “that’s a Penthouse.” The shopkeeper had tricked me.
Kerrie Phipps 14:39
Not quite the same genre as That’s Life.
Julie Woods 14:42
Not quite the same genre.
Kerrie Phipps 14:45
He knew you would come back.
Julie Woods 14:47
But I, my nephew was horrified but I thought “no, good on you” having a joke and I found it very funny.
Kerrie Phipps 14:57
So obviously he’s got the relationship to be able to do that.
Julie Woods 15:00
Quite right. That’s true.
Kerrie Phipps 15:02
Because you know, you did say at the beginning of this episode that you know, it’s better to laugh at yourself and have other people make fun. But yeah, that’s beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. And I knew that listeners would would be wanting you to share one more story. So thank you. Lets come back next episode.
Julie Woods 15:21
Thank you Kerrie!
Kerrie Phipps 15:23
and explore your next key. Try something once and know you’ll have great adventures to share with us there too.
Julie Woods 15:29
Thank you.
Kerrie Phipps 15:30
Thanks, Julie.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
